all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
