Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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