I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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