I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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