you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
