eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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