i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
