then he tried to convert me to islam
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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