when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
