Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
All the doctor said was why
Randomize