This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
