Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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