Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Randomize
