so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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