At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
