I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
