She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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