If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
