she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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