I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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