well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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