By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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