my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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