I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
