we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
