my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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