Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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