i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
