lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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