the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize