wat bout pragnant strippers??
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
