I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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