he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
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