3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
my sisters under your porch take her home
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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