He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
