the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
