i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
