brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Randomize
