Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
