So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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