i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize