what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
