he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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