Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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