it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
