This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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