we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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