Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
