I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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