He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize