He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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