I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
