M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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