I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
