Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
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