I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
