i don't like sucking hair
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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