You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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