go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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