I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
