He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
But break dance skills will only take you so far
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
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