I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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