if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
