I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
