too bad you live with your parents still
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
