Your mouth is God's brothel.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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