What tipped you off? The sombrero?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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