I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
