their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize