they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Randomize
