On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
