what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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