Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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