If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
