My hand turned me down
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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