you mean i was at the winter classic?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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