How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Randomize
